I love Sad Music

I love sad music and I’ve never really understood why.

People say you can tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to, and honestly, maybe you can. But it’s not a direct translation. Loving sad music doesn’t make me a sad person, it just means I like to feel things. It’s so much more layered than that.

Sad music has this reputation, like it’s something you endure rather than seek out. But for me it’s the opposite, nothing makes me feel more alive than a heartbreakingly good sad song. It puts into words feelings I don’t always know how to express, like a release.

I like feeling.

Isn’t feeling the whole point?

And honestly? I even have scheduled cries and sad music is very much on the agenda.

When I think about it, what even makes a song sad? The lyrics maybe? But honestly, I’ve been completely drawn into songs without understanding a single word, just by the tempo alone. I remember hearing Indila’s ‘Love Story’ for the first time all those years ago and being immediately drawn to it, not understanding a single word but feeling every single bit of it.

And that’s why I don’t think we chose this kind of music. I think it chooses us. Some songs I genuinely cannot listen to without being taken straight back to somewhere or someone from the past. ‘Tonight’ by Nonso Amadi is one of them. For a little while I could not get through it without being taken back to a certain someone from when I was 21. And for a song that’s supposed to make you feel wanted, it somehow became a very sad one for me and I could not explain it even if I tried. Sometimes I fight that feeling and find my way back to the song, other times I just don’t have the energy and I let go. (In reality I never do, though.)

I could literally be the happiest person in the world, headphones in, and I’ll be blasting ‘Flashlight’ by Jessie J on full volume. Is it sad? Not exactly. Emotional? Absolutely. And that’s just what I like. Fair warning though, I cannot sing to save my life, but try telling that to me during a mid-shower concert. If you’ve ever shared a space with me, I sincerely apologise. There’s no right place or time for it, honestly, it is genuinely anytime. I could be on the metro, cooking, or in bed, and it just works.

So while thinking about why I’m more attached to this genre of music, I decided to explore my favourite films. I’ll just say it, they’re both not exactly ‘feel-good films’… but they are to me. I got curious, so I put them into Claude and asked what my favourite films might say about me.

Claude basically said that one film suggested I was drawn to emotionally rich, bittersweet stories and valued emotional authenticity over neat, happy endings. The other pointed to a love of dreamers, outsiders, big ambitions, and stories that celebrate people who don’t quite fit the mould.

Then it summed it all up with this:

“You’re someone who leads with your heart. You want to feel things deeply—joy, heartbreak, inspiration. You appreciate both quiet intimacy and grand emotion, and you have a soft spot for stories about people daring to live fully, even when it costs them. You’re not a cynical moviegoer. You don’t watch films at arm’s length. You show up open.”

And you know what? I actually sat there thinking, yeah… that’s exactly it. It’s not that I think AI knows me better than I know myself, but because it managed to put into words something I’d been trying to explain the whole time.

I don’t think I’m drawn to sadness. I think I’m drawn to feeling. Whether it’s a song, a film, or a story, I want it to make me feel something real. I want to be completely immersed in it. Maybe that’s why emotional music always finds me, even when I’m perfectly happy.

If you’re trying to guess the films, here’s one extra clue from me: if the phrase “yellow-and-black striped tights” means anything to you, you’re already halfway there.

Somehow it always circles back. The films, the feelings, all of it just points me back to the same place. That’s the thing about the art that chooses you: you don’t get to decide how it moves you. You just let it.

I’ve been asking the wrong question all along. It was never about the music being sad. It was always about the way it made me feel.